Finally Out

I wasn't always "out." Although I have to admit I have always been gay, I was in denial and didn't come out until I was in my late 40s. I was married at the time and to say that it was a "turning point" in my life would be an understatement.

I'm not the only one. I've met other men who have been in the same situation. Particularly men who grew up in the fifties and sixties.

Oddly enough, I got a text from my ex-wife telling me to listen to the local PBS station. There was a segment about married men who come out later in life. One of the guests was a psychologist and author who write a book on the subject, Finally Out: Letting Go of Living Straight.

I put the book on order and I'll review it once I've read it.

Retired

No, I'm not retired from chastity.

I'm mostly retired from my job, although I've been basically self-employed. I have shed most of my clients. It feels wonderful. I feel the need every once a while to shake up my life. Try some new things, or things I've wanted to concentrate on, including this blog.

Cough, Cough, Cold, Sniffle

Nasty chest cold... Ugh.

I switched back to my JailBird, although I don't feel the desire to do anything other than have a cup of cinnamon tea... and maybe a ginger snap.

A Look Back at the Holy Trainer

I've been using my JailBird from Mature Metal for the past few months, but thought I would go back into my Holy Trainer for a few days. I've forgotten how comfortable the ring is on the HT. The tube is a solid plastic and, unlike the JailBird which is an open "cage" of metal bars, there is noticeably less sensation on the penis in the Holy Trainer than the JailBird.

Of course, the disadvantage to the solid tube is that it needs more frequent cleaning. I can usually go three days before I need to take it off and clean it. I can go much longer in the JailBird, maybe a week.

Here's a link to my last review of the Holy Trainer.

The New Normal

I started this blog in 2011. That means I'm at least five years into chastity. I haven't been locked for the whole five years, but I think that the longest I've been unlocked is a month.

I haven't had a keyholder during that time. In some ways I think being self-locked is more of a challenge to my self control.

However, the sub in me would like to be at least responsible to a keyholder, perhaps an online keyholder, even if it is another locked sub.

Freedom Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be

Took off the Jailbird Saturday and put it back on Monday. It was a five week lockup and thought I would really enjoy my orgasms.

Well, the reality was not so great. My first orgasm, if you want to call it that, was really a ruined orgasm. Not really wanted it that way but everything just spilled out with a rather weak orgasm that was unsatisfying, to say the least.

I next tried again about 10 hours later. A bit better but no fireworks. Later that night I tried and just couldn't get a lasting erection. I was tired and I just think my dick isn't used to being erect. Maybe my orgasm muscles are atrophying?

Near the end of week 5

I'm coming to the end of my 5 week run of chastity. My original plan was to go two weeks and I've extended it to five. I've had some ebb and flow of hormones. I've been so horny, I wanted to cheat and other times, I could care less. Today, I'm horny.

My record is 7 weeks (actually 50 days). I'm within striking distance of breaking that record. Should I go for it or "clean our the pipes"? If I get a reply to this post before Saturday evening telling me to keep on my cage, I'll do it. My cock is in your hands. (I wish!)

Blue Balls

Three times last night I awoke with my cock trying to erect but being firmly controlled by my Jailbird. I usually like the feeling but the 5AM erection was awful. My balls have ached all day and the ring is so tight, it hurts too.

I have to take the cage off for a dermatologist appointment tomorrow morning. Maybe I'll put on the HT2 for a few days.